Monthly Archives: August 2014

When someone hands you a flyer, it’s li

When someone hands you a flyer, it’s like they’re saying here you throw this away. Mitch Hedberg

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Rice is great if you’re really hungry a

Rice is great if you’re really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something. Mitch Hedberg

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I would imagine that if you could unders

I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy. Mitch Hedberg

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Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or jus

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus? Mitch Hedberg

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I know a lot about cars, man. I can look

I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car’s headlights and tell you exactly which way it’s coming. Mitch Hedberg

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My fake plants died because I did not pr

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. Mitch Hedberg

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The Second Amendment says we have the ri

The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery. Robin Williams

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We had gay burglars the other night. The

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture. Robin Williams

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We’ve had cloning in the South for year

We’ve had cloning in the South for years. It’s called cousins. Robin Williams

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If it’s the Psychic Network why do they

If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? Robin Williams

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